Process Map Model Essay
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The diagram below shows the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for building purposes.
The diagrams illustrate the way in which cement is made and how it is then used in the process of making concrete. Overall, limestone and clay pass through four stages before being bagged ready for use as cement which then accounts for 15% of the four materials used to produce concrete. While the process of making cement uses a number of tools, the production of concrete requires only a concrete mixer.
In the first stage of making cement, limestone and clay are crushed together to form a powder. This powder is then combined in a mixer before passing into a rotating heater which has constant heat applied at one end of the tube. The resulting mixture is ground in order to produce cement. The final product is afterwards put into bags ready to be used.
Regarding the second diagram, concrete consists of mainly gravel, which is small stones, and this makes up 50% of the ingredients. The other materials used are sand (25%), cement (15%) and water (10%). These are all poured into a concrete mixer which continually rotates to combine the materials and ultimately produces concrete.
167 words
➡️ This essay qualifies for a Band 9 score
Comments:
This diagram gives a concise introduction. The overview contains key features of both diagrams and also highlights the connection between them.
The body paragraphs are organised well and linking devices are used flexibly and accurately. Each body paragraphs explained the steps of each process in a logical order. Complex sentences are accurate and there is also passive voice used. Collocations are well used.
In the first stage of making cement, limestone and clay are crushed together to form a powder. This powder is then combined in a mixer before passing into a rotating heater which has constant heat applied at one end of the tube. The resulting mixture is ground in order to produce cement. The final product is afterwards put into bags ready to be used.
Regarding the second diagram, concrete consists of mainly gravel, which is small stones, and this makes up 50% of the ingredients. The other materials used are sand (25%), cement (15%) and water (10%). These are all poured into a concrete mixer which continually rotates to combine the materials and ultimately produces concrete.
167 words
➡️ This essay qualifies for a Band 9 score
Comments:
This diagram gives a concise introduction. The overview contains key features of both diagrams and also highlights the connection between them.
The body paragraphs are organised well and linking devices are used flexibly and accurately. Each body paragraphs explained the steps of each process in a logical order. Complex sentences are accurate and there is also passive voice used. Collocations are well used.
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The diagram shows how rainwater is collected for the use of drinking water in an Australian town.
The diagram illustrates how an Australian town collects rainwater to process in order to use as drinking water. Overall, rainwater collected from houses can be used for drinking after it has been processed by being filtered and then being treated with chemicals.
Initially, the rain which falls on the rooftop is collected by the gutter and then runs down the pipe at the side of the house into the drain at the bottom. Each house collects rainwater in this way and the rainwater is then passed along underground drains to the water filter.
The rainwater passes through the water filter to remove any impurities. Once it has been filtered, it continues along the pipes to a storage tank. From this point, the water goes from storage to the water treatment. At this stage of the process, the water is treated with chemicals in order to make it fit for consumption. When the water is ready for drinking, it travels along pipes that lead back into the houses in the town where people can use the water for daily consumption.
179 words
➡️ This essay qualifies for a Band 9 score
Initially, the rain which falls on the rooftop is collected by the gutter and then runs down the pipe at the side of the house into the drain at the bottom. Each house collects rainwater in this way and the rainwater is then passed along underground drains to the water filter.
The rainwater passes through the water filter to remove any impurities. Once it has been filtered, it continues along the pipes to a storage tank. From this point, the water goes from storage to the water treatment. At this stage of the process, the water is treated with chemicals in order to make it fit for consumption. When the water is ready for drinking, it travels along pipes that lead back into the houses in the town where people can use the water for daily consumption.
179 words
➡️ This essay qualifies for a Band 9 score