Science and technology have made immense progress in all the fields including agriculture. Although these advancements have been achieved, many people around the globe do not get sufficient food. This essay will shed some light on the causes of this issue and solution for it.

First and foremost, money is unequally distributed amongst people especially in under developed and developing countries. Rich people consume organic food on daily basis because of advances made in farming, whereas poor people including farmers do not get minimum required food. Consequently, children are malnourished and this is quite evident in poor countries of Africa.

Secondly, many of the nations do not have proper cold storage facilities though they produce large amount of grains and crops. This results in raw food being wasted. For instance, India produces huge amount of crops every year but because of insufficient storage, quantity of food wasted is paramount.

This issues can be addressed by the government by taking adequate measures in resolving them. Food should be taxed at the minimum and if possible, should not be taxed at all and taxes should be made high on luxury items. Moreover, farmers should be paid more amount for their products so that they are also benefited and have sufficient food for them. Private companies should be encouraged to setup cold storage. Since government has limited budget, companies can help minimize food wastage because of lack of adequate storage units.

In conclusion, government has to take appropriate measures to ensure citizens are provided basic necessities of life which in turn will help with developing nation as a whole.


➡️ Errors and areas of improvement in the essay

1. 'Rich people are consuming organic food on daily basis because of advances made in farming' - it is not a relevant or strong argument since essay is not about good or bad food but lack of food
2. 'paramount' - this is not the right word to use here. The term "paramount" means "more important than anything else; supreme.” Better use “huge, substantial, enormous”
3. 'This issues' - these issues
4. 'farmers should be paid more amount for their products so that they are also benefited and have sufficient food for them' - another irrelevant argument and not a real solution for lack of food
5. Conclusion needs to be a bit more elaborate

Children today are increasingly spending a significant amount of their time on social media platforms. While this trend offers certain advantages, it also gives rise to potential problems that need to be acknowledged and addressed. This essay will discuss some of the potential issues associated with excessive social media use among children and suggest possible solutions.

One of the main concerns is the impact on children's mental health. Excessive social media usage can contribute to feelings of anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. Children often compare themselves to idealized online personas, leading to dissatisfaction with their own lives. Additionally, cyberbullying is a prevalent issue, with children being subjected to online harassment and bullying.

Another problem is the potential negative effect on academic performance. Spending excessive time on social media can distract children from their studies and reduce their concentration and productivity. This can lead to lower grades and hinder their educational development.

To address these problems, several measures can be taken. Firstly, parents and guardians should play an active role in monitoring and limiting their children's social media use. They can set guidelines and time restrictions to ensure a healthy balance between online activities and other important aspects of life, such as schoolwork and physical activities.

Moreover, schools can incorporate digital literacy programs into their curriculum to educate children about responsible social media use. These programs can emphasize the importance of critical thinking, online etiquette and online safety. By providing children with the necessary skills and knowledge, they can navigate the online world more responsibly and safely.

Furthermore, social media platforms themselves can contribute to addressing these concerns. They can implement stricter age verification processes to prevent young children from accessing inappropriate content. They can also enhance their reporting and blocking mechanisms to combat cyberbullying effectively. Furthermore, promoting digital well-being features, such as reminders for screen breaks, can encourage healthier social media habits.

In conclusion, excessive social media use among children can lead to various problems, including negative effects on mental health and academic performance. To address these issues, it is crucial for parents, schools, and social media platforms to work together. By implementing parental guidance, digital literacy education and platform improvements, we can create a safer and more balanced environment for children's social media engagement.
(263 words)

➡️ Why this essay qualifies for a Band 7 score:

1. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The grammar usage is generally sound, with a variety of sentence structures.
2. Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a clear overall structure, with a proper introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas are presented logically, although there may be occasional minor inconsistencies. There is a sufficient use of cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs.
3. Lexical Resource: The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, showing some precision and accuracy in word choice. There are occasional errors, but they do not significantly impede communication.
4. Task Response: The essay responds to the question by outlining potential problems of children's social media use and suggesting possible solutions. The ideas are relevant and sufficiently developed.

➡️ Errors and areas of improvement in the essay

🔶 Sentence structure and word choice:

• "...gives rise to potential problems that need to be acknowledged and addressed." Consider using "require" instead of "need" to enhance the level of formality.
• "...leading to dissatisfaction with their own lives." Specify that it is dissatisfaction "with their own lives" due to social media comparison, as the sentence might otherwise imply a general dissatisfaction.
• "Excessive social media usage can contribute to feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem." Consider rephrasing to "Excessive use of social media can contribute to feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem."
• "They can set guidelines and time restrictions to ensure a healthy balance between online activities and other important aspects of life, such as schoolwork and physical activities." Consider replacing "important aspects of life" with "crucial areas like academics and physical well-being" for more clarity.

🔶 Sentence coherence and organization:

• "...cyberbullying is a prevalent issue, with children being subjected to online harassment and bullying." The sentence could be clearer and more concise by saying, "Children often face cyberbullying, including online harassment and bullying."
• "Moreover, schools can incorporate digital literacy programs into their curriculum to educate children about responsible social media use." Consider adding a transition word to connect the previous paragraph and this sentence, such as "Additionally" or "Furthermore."
• "...promoting digital well-being features, such as reminders for screen breaks, can encourage healthier social media habits." Consider rephrasing as "Encouraging digital well-being features, such as reminders for screen breaks, can promote healthier social media habits."

🔶 The essay would benefit from more specific examples to further support the points:

• Example for the negative impact on mental health:
• According to a recent study, teenagers who spend more than five hours a day on social media are twice as likely to experience symptoms of depression compared to those who spend less time.
• For instance, a recent survey showed that 40% of adolescents who encountered cyberbullying on social media reported feelings of increased anxiety and a decline in their overall well-being.
• Example for the negative impact on academic performance:
• Students who spent excessive time on social media had lower GPA scores compared to those who had a balanced approach to their online activities.
• In a survey conducted among high school students, it was revealed that 70% of respondents admitted that social media distractions had a negative impact on their ability to focus on homework and study effectively.

___________
Actually, there is no requirement to refer to researches or come up with statistics. It’s just impossible to remember all information on statistics, for that reason test takers are not required to compose fake data in their essays. It’s ok if the student really knows what he’s talking about, though, and can prove his words. Providing an example, you can also rely on your observation, experience, personal story. 🤯 Moreover, such phrases as “according to a recent study”, “a recent survey showed” are considered to be pre-learned constructions, while examiners are expecting your own words in essays.

In today's digital age, social media has become an integral part of children's lives. While it offers many benefits, such as staying connected with friends and family, it also has the potential to cause several problems. In this essay, we will discuss some of the potential issues that could arise from excessive social media usage by children and some measures that can be taken to address these problems.

One of the primary concerns with excessive social media usage is the negative impact it can have on children's mental health. Studies have shown that social media use is associated with increased levels of anxiety, depression and low self-esteem. Children who spend a lot of time on social media may also experience cyberbullying, which can lead to feelings of isolation and social exclusion.

Another issue is the impact of social media on physical health. Children who spend long hours on social media may develop poor posture, eyesight problems and a sedentary lifestyle, which can lead to obesity and other health problems.

To address these potential problems, parents and educators need to take an active role in monitoring children's social media usage. They can encourage children to engage in physical activities, such as sports and outdoor play, to counteract the negative effects of sedentary behavior. Parents can also limit screen time and encourage children to engage in more meaningful activities, such as reading, writing and creative projects.

Moreover, it is essential to educate children about online safety and responsible social media usage. This includes teaching them about the dangers of cyberbullying and how to report it, as well as the importance of protecting personal information and avoiding inappropriate content.
In conclusion, while social media offers many benefits, it is crucial to be aware of the potential problems it can cause for children. By taking an active role in monitoring their social media usage and educating them about online safety, we can help ensure that children's experiences with social media are positive and enriching.
(258 words)

➡️ Why this essay qualifies for a Band Score 9:

1. Lexical Resourse: The essay employs a wide range of vocabulary, using appropriate and precise language throughout.
2. Grammatical Range and Accuracy:It also demonstrates a mastery of complex grammatical structures, showing a high level of language proficiency.
3. Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is well-organized and structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas flow logically, and each paragraph is linked to the main topic. Transitional phrases and cohesive devices are used effectively to connect ideas and create coherence.
4. Task Response: The essay effectively addresses the question by discussing potential problems of excessive social media usage by children and suggesting measures to address these issues. It covers all the key aspects of the topic, providing a balanced and insightful analysis.

Physical activity is often embraced during youth but tends to diminish among adults. This essay will explore the reasons why many adults discontinue engaging in physical exercise and propose potential solutions to this issue.

There are several factors contributing to the decrease in physical exercise among adults. Firstly, time constraints due to work and family responsibilities can limit the availability of leisure time for exercise. Additionally, sedentary lifestyles have become increasingly prevalent in modern society, with technology and sedentary occupations reducing the need for physical exertion. Lastly, a lack of motivation and interest, coupled with a perception that exercise is solely for the young, can discourage adults from participating in physical activities.

To address this problem, various measures can be implemented. Firstly, workplace initiatives can be established to promote physical activity during working hours. This could involve offering gym memberships, organizing lunchtime exercise classes, or encouraging walking meetings.

Secondly, educational campaigns should be launched to raise awareness about the long-term health benefits associated with regular physical exercise. These campaigns should target adults and emphasize that it is never too late to start and enjoy physical activities. Lastly, communities should create inclusive recreational programs that cater to a wide range of interests and abilities, ensuring that adults have access to diverse physical activities in their local areas.

Individuals can also play a role in maintaining their own physical well-being. By prioritizing their health and incorporating exercise into their daily routines, adults can set an example for their peers and family members. Furthermore, social support systems, such as exercise groups or clubs, can be formed to provide encouragement, motivation, and accountability.

In conclusion, numerous factors contribute to the decline in adult physical exercise, including time constraints, sedentary lifestyles and a lack of motivation. To counteract this trend, workplace initiatives, educational campaigns, community programs, personal commitment and social support are essential. By implementing these measures, society can foster a culture of lifelong physical activity, ensuring improved overall health and well-being for adults.
(391 words)

➡️ Why this essay qualifies for a Band 8,5 score:

1. Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect related to the topic, and there is logical progression throughout the essay.
2. Task Response: The essay addresses both parts of the given prompt by discussing the reasons why adults stop doing physical exercise and proposing solutions to this issue. The ideas are relevant and supported by appropriate examples and explanations.
3. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay exhibits a variety of sentence structures, and most sentences are grammatically accurate. While there might be occasional errors, they do not significantly impede understanding.
4. Lexical Resource: The essay uses a mix of common and less common vocabulary effectively. Some examples include "sedentary lifestyles," "workplace initiatives," "educational campaigns," and "recreational programs." The language used is generally appropriate for an academic essay.

➡️ Errors and areas of improvement in the essay
Introduction:

• The introduction lacks the personal opinion

Body Paragraph 1:

• The sentence "Additionally, sedentary lifestyles have become increasingly prevalent in modern society, with technology and sedentary occupations reducing the need for physical exertion" can be rephrased for clarity and coherence.

Body Paragraph 2:

• The phrase "To address this problem, various measures can be implemented" can be more specific by mentioning the measures explicitly.

Body Paragraph 3:

• The paragraph lacks specific examples or elaboration on how individuals can prioritize their health and incorporate exercise into their daily routines.

Conclusion:

• The conclusion can be strengthened by summarizing the main points from each body paragraph and providing a concise and memorable closing statement.

Physical activity tends to wane as individuals transition from youth to adulthood, presenting a concerning trend that demands attention. This essay delves into the multifaceted reasons underlying the abandonment of physical exercise among adults and presents robust strategies to address this issue.

The decline in adult physical activity can be attributed to several interrelated factors. Firstly, the pervasive demands of work and family obligations curtail the availability of leisure time conducive to exercise. Moreover, the ubiquity of sedentary lifestyles, fueled by technological advancements and desk-bound professions, diminishes the necessity for physical exertion in daily routines. Additionally, a prevailing lack of motivation and the erroneous belief that exercise is primarily for the young further deter adults from embracing physical activities.

To counteract this alarming trend, a holistic approach encompassing various interventions is imperative. Firstly, workplaces should institute proactive measures to integrate physical activity into the daily grind. This could entail providing gym memberships, orchestrating midday exercise sessions, or endorsing walking meetings to instill a culture of movement during work hours. Secondly, educational endeavors must disseminate awareness about the myriad long-term health advantages associated with regular physical exercise. Targeting adults specifically, these campaigns should debunk the myth that it's too late to embark on a fitness journey and emphasize the gratification derived from adopting an active lifestyle.

Moreover, fostering inclusive recreational programs within communities is paramount. These initiatives should cater to diverse interests and abilities, ensuring that adults have access to a spectrum of physical activities within their localities. Encouragingly, individuals possess agency in cultivating their physical well-being. By prioritizing their health and seamlessly incorporating exercise into daily routines, adults can serve as beacons of inspiration for their peers and kin.
Furthermore, the establishment of robust social support networks, such as exercise groups or clubs, can fortify motivation and accountability. In essence, collaborative efforts at the societal, communal and individual levels are indispensable in cultivating a culture of lifelong physical activity.

In conclusion, the decline in adult physical exercise stems from a confluence of factors, including time constraints, sedentary lifestyles, and motivational deficits. To reverse this trend, concerted action is imperative. Through workplace initiatives, educational campaigns, community programs, personal commitment and social support structures, society can foster a paradigm shift towards sustained physical activity among adults. In doing so, we can nurture enhanced overall health and well-being across the adult population.
(347 words)

➡️ Why this essay qualifies for a Band 9 score:

1. Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is exceptionally well-organized, with clear paragraph structure and logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, creating a coherent argument throughout the essay.
2. Lexical Resource: The vocabulary used is varied and precise, demonstrating a high level of lexical resource. The essay employs sophisticated vocabulary accurately and effectively to convey meaning, enhancing the overall quality of the writing.
3. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay showcases a wide range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and subordinate clauses, contributing to a sense of fluency and sophistication. Grammar and syntax are consistently accurate, with minimal errors that do not impede understanding.
4. Task Achievement: The essay thoroughly addresses the prompt by examining the reasons behind the decline in adult physical activity and proposing comprehensive solutions to mitigate this trend. It demonstrates a deep understanding of the topic and effectively fulfils the requirements of the task.

Overall Impression: The essay exhibits a high level of proficiency in both language skills and task fulfilment. It presents a nuanced analysis supported by well-developed arguments and demonstrates the ability to communicate complex ideas effectively. As a result, it would likely be awarded a band 9 score in IELTS assessment.