Mobile phones, nowadays, contain essential features with entertainment also. There has been a large growth seen in usage hours of smartphones among youngsters. There are several reasons behind this situation and I find this development more beneficial than negative. Both reasons and my view is elaborated further.

The first reason for overusage of smart devices by youngsters is the social benefit they provide. The smart phone connected with internet opens up the large possibilities, from creating new friends to communicating with them over social media. For instance, a child in my neighbourhood chats for hours with his school friends over Facebook (a social media) and also spends time over online video sharing phone application.

Moreover, the mobile gaming, specially multiplayer games, is another major reason for the situation. Children play different kind of games over mobile for the entertainment purpose and they involve themselves in games in such a manner, that they forget about the timing and other work to do.

However, I believe that smartphones have also increased the knowledge of pupils. It has developed some important social skills, such as communication skill, team work and more, by allowing them to work and play in groups, without the restriction of distance.

In addition, children can learn through internet by watching online videos and reading articles, and it helps them in their studies as well as language skills. For example, whenever my niece require to know about something, he searches it over the internet and learns from it. Moreover, multiplayer online gaming improves their multitasking ability and it also gives them a competitive environment.

Overall, I agree that overusage of smartphones on regular basis is harmful for them, but if given proper guidance, mobile phones can help them in learning some life-long skills.

➡️ Errors and areas of improvement in the essay This response addresses both parts of the question. A range of ideas is expressed and the candidate gives their position in the opening paragraph and then provides evidence and relevant examples.

Ideas are logically organised and there is clear progression throughout the four paragraphs. A range of cohesive devices are used [The first reason | For instance Moreover] with referencing used appropriately [they themselves | their studies | it).

The range of vocabulary is good with examples of higher-level items [social skills restriction of distance | ultimately] and there are few errors [overusage / overuse | niece require to know/needs to know].

Similarly, the range of grammatical structures is reasonable, but the level of error means the Band Score cannot be higher than 6.5.

In the present era, the proliferation of television and the internet has facilitated widespread opportunities for individuals to attain fame. While this phenomenon has its merits, it also carries inherent drawbacks. This essay will explore both perspectives before presenting a balanced view.

On the one hand, the accessibility of television and the internet has democratized the process of fame acquisition. In the past, achieving widespread recognition often required endorsement from traditional media outlets, which were selective in their coverage. However, the advent of social media platforms and online streaming services has enabled individuals from diverse backgrounds to showcase their talents and garner attention without the need for intermediaries. This democratization of fame has empowered ordinary people to pursue their passions and gain recognition on a global scale, thereby fostering inclusivity and diversity in the realm of celebrity.

On the other hand, the ease of becoming famous through television and the internet has led to several negative consequences. Firstly, the pursuit of fame for its own sake can promote superficiality and undermine genuine talent and accomplishment. With the allure of instant celebrity status, many individuals may prioritize cultivating an online persona over honing their skills or contributing meaningfully to society. Additionally, the relentless pursuit of fame can result in invasive scrutiny and loss of privacy, leading to psychological distress and exploitation of vulnerable individuals, particularly among young people.

In conclusion, the ease of attaining fame through television and the internet represents a double-edged sword with both positive and negative implications. While it democratizes the process of recognition and empowers individuals to showcase their talents, it also risks promoting superficiality and compromising personal well-being. Therefore, it is essential for individuals to approach fame with discernment and integrity, recognizing its potential benefits and pitfalls. Ultimately, fame should be viewed as a byproduct of genuine achievement and contribution rather than an end in itself.
(258 words)

➡️ Errors and areas of improvement in the essay

1. In the phrase "the proliferation of television and the internet has facilitated widespread opportunities," consider replacing "facilitated" with "created," or another synonym, to enhance variety.
2. The sentence "With the allure of instant celebrity status, many individuals may prioritize cultivating an online persona over honing their skills or contributing meaningfully to society" could be clearer. Perhaps rephrase it to: "The allure of instant celebrity status may lead many individuals to prioritize cultivating an online persona over developing their skills or making meaningful contributions to society."
3. Consider varying sentence structures for stylistic variety throughout the essay.
4. Ensure consistency in punctuation and formatting throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion:

• Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea.
• Use a variety of cohesive devices such as transition words (however, moreover, therefore) and cohesive phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs smoothly.
• Check for logical progression of ideas within paragraphs and between paragraphs.

Task Response:

• Ensure your essay directly responds to the prompt by clearly stating your position and providing a clear line of argumentation.
• Maintain a balanced approach by acknowledging counterarguments and offering a nuanced perspective.

Language Use:

• Aim for more varied and sophisticated vocabulary to add depth and precision to your expression.
• Use complex sentence structures (including conditional sentences, relative clauses and passive voice) to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical accuracy and range.

In modern society, the proliferation of television and the internet has revolutionized the process of achieving fame, offering unprecedented accessibility and visibility to individuals worldwide. While this phenomenon presents both opportunities and challenges, its implications warrant careful consideration. This essay will critically analyze the ramifications of the ease of attaining fame through modern media platforms.

Advocates argue that the democratization of fame through television and the internet promotes inclusivity and diversity, empowering individuals from all walks of life to share their talents and stories with a global audience. The ability to bypass traditional gatekeepers has democratized the process of recognition, fostering a culture where merit and creativity can thrive irrespective of background or status. Furthermore, the rise of social media influencers and online content creators has reshaped the definition of fame, highlighting the potential for authentic connections and meaningful engagement with audiences worldwide.

However, critics caution against the superficiality and negative consequences associated with the pursuit of fame through modern media channels. The allure of instant celebrity status may incentivize individuals to prioritize self-promotion over genuine talent or contribution to society, leading to a proliferation of vapid content and hollow fame. Moreover, the relentless pursuit of fame can exact a toll on mental health and personal well-being, as individuals navigate the pressures of public scrutiny and the commodification of their image.

In conclusion, while the ease of becoming famous through television and the internet represents a significant societal shift, its impact is multifaceted and complex. While it democratizes opportunities for recognition and expression, it also poses challenges related to authenticity, integrity, and personal well-being. Ultimately, the extent to which individuals navigate and harness the potential of modern media platforms for fame is contingent upon their values, intentions, and resilience in the face of both opportunities and adversities.
(271 words)

In present-day society, there is a noticeable surge in the number of individuals who are interested in and actively wearing fashionable clothes. This trend has sparked debates regarding its implications, with some viewing it as a positive development while others perceive it as negative. This essay will critically examine both perspectives before presenting a balanced view.

On one hand, the growing interest in fashionable attire can be seen as a positive phenomenon. Fashion serves as a form of self-expression, allowing individuals to showcase their personality, creativity, and cultural identity through clothing choices. Moreover, the fashion industry generates employment opportunities and stimulates economic growth by fostering innovation, production and consumption. Additionally, the increased emphasis on personal style and appearance can boost confidence and self-esteem, leading to a greater sense of empowerment and well-being among individuals.

However, there are also negative aspects associated with the rise in fashion consciousness. Firstly, the fast-paced nature of the fashion industry contributes to environmental degradation and unethical labor practices, as companies prioritize profit margins over sustainability and worker rights. Moreover, the pressure to keep up with ever-changing trends can fuel consumerism and materialism, leading to excessive consumption and financial strain. Additionally, the emphasis on outward appearance may perpetuate superficiality and undermine the importance of inner qualities and character traits.

In conclusion, the increasing interest in fashionable clothes elicits mixed reactions, with both positive and negative implications. While fashion allows for self-expression, economic growth and enhanced confidence, it also raises concerns about sustainability, ethical practices, consumerism and superficiality. Therefore, it is essential for individuals to approach fashion with mindfulness, considering its broader impacts on society and the environment. Ultimately, a balanced approach that values personal style while prioritizing sustainability and ethical considerations is crucial for fostering a more responsible and inclusive fashion culture.
(277 words)

➡️ Errors and areas of improvement in the essay
Upon a closer examination, while the essay is generally well-written, there are a few areas for improvement:

1. Sentence Structure Variety: Try to vary the sentence structures to enhance the overall flow and engagement of the essay. For instance, consider incorporating more complex sentence structures, such as compound or complex sentences, to add variety and sophistication to your writing.
2. Transition Words and Phrases: While the essay demonstrates coherence, incorporating more varied transition words and phrases can further enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
3. Grammar and Punctuation: While the essay is generally grammatically correct, ensure consistency in punctuation and formatting throughout the essay. Pay attention to punctuation marks such as commas and periods to ensure clarity and coherence.

Overall, these are minor adjustments aimed at refining the clarity, coherence, and sophistication of your essay. Keep practicing, and you'll continue to improve your writing skills.

In modern-day community, there's a noticeable surge in individuals showing keen interest in and actively donning fashionable attire. This trend has sparked debates regarding its implications, with divergent views on whether it represents a positive or negative development. This essay will meticulously explore both perspectives before presenting a well-rounded analysis.

On one hand, the burgeoning interest in fashion can be construed as a positive phenomenon. Fashion serves as a conduit for self-expression, providing individuals with a medium to exhibit their personality, creativity, and cultural heritage through their sartorial choices. Moreover, the fashion industry serves as a robust economic engine, generating employment opportunities and fostering innovation, production, and consumption. Additionally, the heightened emphasis on personal style and appearance has the potential to bolster confidence and self-esteem, contributing to enhanced well-being and empowerment among individuals.

However, there are also adverse implications associated with the escalating fashion consciousness. Firstly, the rapid pace of the fashion industry often leads to environmental degradation and unethical labor practices, as profit motives supersede concerns for sustainability and labor rights. Moreover, the relentless pursuit of keeping up with fleeting trends can fuel consumerism and materialism, precipitating excessive consumption and financial strain. Furthermore, the emphasis on outward appearance may inadvertently perpetuate superficiality and undermine the significance of intrinsic qualities and character traits.

In conclusion, the escalating interest in fashionable attire elicits a spectrum of reactions, with both positive and negative implications. While fashion provides avenues for self-expression, economic growth, and enhanced self-confidence, it also raises concerns regarding sustainability, ethical practices, consumerism, and superficiality. Hence, individuals must approach fashion with mindfulness, considering its broader societal and environmental impacts. Striking a balance between personal style and sustainability is paramount in fostering a responsible and inclusive fashion culture.