Multiple Chart Model Essay
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The charts below give information about levels of education in Glasgow, a city in Scotland, in 2010
The bar chart and pie charts illustrate the percentage of people in Glasgow having three levels of education (university, school and those with no qualifications) in 2010. Information is divided into five age groups in the bar chart and by gender in the pie charts.
Overall, the majority of people with university education were in younger age groups, while in the oldest age group most people did not have any qualifications. The proportions of men and women were similar and showed little different between the levels of education.
The percentage of people with university education was up to 76% in the younger three age groups compared to only 50% in those ages 50 to 75 and just 25% in those over 75. This trend was reversed in those with no qualifications (9% in younger people rising to 72% in the oldest age group). The figure for those with school education was relatively constant at around 20% but was as low as 3% in the over 75's.
The proportion of men and women in each level of education was around one third with only a slightly difference of 3% in university graduates as well as those who didn't have educational qualifications.
198 words
➡️ This essay qualifies for a Band 7 score and here are some mistakes to be spotted:
Paragraph 2: in younger age groups = in the younger age groups
Paragraph 2: little different = little difference
Paragraph 3: in those ages 50 to 75 = in those aged 50 to 75
Paragraph 4: a slightly difference = a slight difference
Paragraph 4: didn't = did not
Overall, the majority of people with university education were in younger age groups, while in the oldest age group most people did not have any qualifications. The proportions of men and women were similar and showed little different between the levels of education.
The percentage of people with university education was up to 76% in the younger three age groups compared to only 50% in those ages 50 to 75 and just 25% in those over 75. This trend was reversed in those with no qualifications (9% in younger people rising to 72% in the oldest age group). The figure for those with school education was relatively constant at around 20% but was as low as 3% in the over 75's.
The proportion of men and women in each level of education was around one third with only a slightly difference of 3% in university graduates as well as those who didn't have educational qualifications.
198 words
➡️ This essay qualifies for a Band 7 score and here are some mistakes to be spotted:
Paragraph 2: in younger age groups = in the younger age groups
Paragraph 2: little different = little difference
Paragraph 3: in those ages 50 to 75 = in those aged 50 to 75
Paragraph 4: a slightly difference = a slight difference
Paragraph 4: didn't = did not
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The line charts show the amount of beer sold to pubs and supermarkets over six years, where a bar graph displays the amount of pubs closed over the same period. Summarise the data by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
The data presents two distinct trends related to beer sales and the number of pubs in the UK from 2000 to 2016. From the line chart, it is clear that the volume of beer sold to pubs has steadily decreased over the years.
Starting just below 30,000 barrels in 2000, it exhibits a consistent downward trend, reaching just over 15,000 barrels by 2016.
On the other hand, beer sales to supermarkets have shown an opposite trajectory. In 2000, supermarket beer sales started significantly lower than pub sales, but around 2010, the lines intersect, indicating an equal volume of beer sold to pubs and supermarkets. Post this point, supermarket sales continue to rise above the decreasing pub sales, signaling a shift in consumer behavior from purchasing beer at pubs to buying from supermarkets.
The bar graph depicting the total amount of pubs in the UK complements the first chart, showing a decrease in the number of pubs over the same period. The decline is gradual, starting at around 60,000 in 2000 and falling to just above 50,000 in 2016.
178 words
➡️ Why this essay qualifies for a Band 9 score
Starting just below 30,000 barrels in 2000, it exhibits a consistent downward trend, reaching just over 15,000 barrels by 2016.
On the other hand, beer sales to supermarkets have shown an opposite trajectory. In 2000, supermarket beer sales started significantly lower than pub sales, but around 2010, the lines intersect, indicating an equal volume of beer sold to pubs and supermarkets. Post this point, supermarket sales continue to rise above the decreasing pub sales, signaling a shift in consumer behavior from purchasing beer at pubs to buying from supermarkets.
The bar graph depicting the total amount of pubs in the UK complements the first chart, showing a decrease in the number of pubs over the same period. The decline is gradual, starting at around 60,000 in 2000 and falling to just above 50,000 in 2016.
178 words
➡️ Why this essay qualifies for a Band 9 score
- Task Achievement: You've concisely summarized the main trends of both graphs and made relevant comparisons.
- Coherence and Cohesion: The summary is well-organized, with clear overall progressions presented in a logical order.
- Lexical Resource: The vocabulary is appropriate, with terms like "downward trend," "trajectory," "intersect," and "shift in consumer behavior." However, for a top band score, there might be a wider range of vocabulary and a few less common words.
- Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The grammar is accurate with varied structures.