Discussion Model Essays

⚡ Band 6 Score Essay


Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Most of us go through few challenging and sad circumstances in some stage of our life, it could happen due to various factors, such as job dissatisfaction, insufficient money and painful life events (for instance, death of family member or accidents). What should we do in these strange unhappy moments of life? We will be discussing whether we should simply accept or attempt to resolve the issue in following paragraphs.

There could be few instances where we do not like our job but still continue to work due to some reason. I would like to illustrate one of the reason for this: job location is in our home town and we are not willing to leave our hometown due to homesickness. Some people prefer living simple and they tend to not put extra efforts to gain more money. These people are happy in their normal and ordinary life and not thriving for extra money on stake of spending extra efforts.

Even though there could be some situations (for example, handicapped due to accident, temporary job loss, theft) which can not be avoided and we might need to live with these. However, we must try to enhance our lifestyle by thinking how to get rid of bad situations. If we are short of money then we need to work towards cutting down our expences. In addition to this, we can do overwork for some time. There is no meaning to work in an organization where you do not enjoy your work, you are not motivated in you work and there is not recoginition. You should always work hard to get new job to have a piece of mind.

To sum up, I would like to say, there could be some unwanted awful situations which can not be controlled, but we must attempt to Improvise those circumstances. We should always spend persistance efforts to enhance critical situations.

➡️ Errors and areas of improvement in the essay
  1. 'sad circumstances in some stage of our life' - at some stage of our lives
  2. 'one of the reason' - reasons not reason
  3. 'for extra money on stake of spending extra efforts' - for extra money because of extra efforts required
  4. You need to give better arguments in your first body paragraph
  5. 'can not' - cannot is one word
  6. 'expences' - expenses
  7. 'recoginition' - recognition
  8. The arguments in the second body paragraph are not coherent. You started with making more money and then suddenly moved to job satisfaction without any proper link between these
  9. Also the vocabulary used in the task is very basic which will not get you good score on lexical resources parameter. You need to incorporate better vocabulary. For that you can watch our vocabulary lessons on our channel.
  10. 'improvise those circumstances' - improvise in those circumstances
  11. 'persistance' - persistent efforts

⚡ Band 8 Score Essay 1


Some people believe that children should be given lessons on the dangers of using drugs in schools. Others believe that this is the responsibility of parents. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In contemporary society, there is a contentious debate regarding the responsibility for educating children about the dangers of drug use. While some advocate for schools to provide lessons on this topic, others argue that it falls within the purview of parental responsibility. This essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my opinion.

On one hand, proponents of drug education in schools argue that educational institutions are well-positioned to disseminate information and raise awareness about the risks associated with drug use. Schools provide a structured environment where children can receive accurate and comprehensive information from trained educators. Moreover, drug education in schools can reach a wide audience, including children from diverse backgrounds who may not receive adequate guidance at home. By integrating drug education into the curriculum, schools can empower students with the knowledge and skills necessary to make informed decisions and resist peer pressure.

On the other hand, there is a strong argument that educating children about drug use is primarily the responsibility of parents or guardians. Parents play a central role in shaping their children's attitudes, values and behaviours. They have a unique insight into their children's lives and can tailor discussions about drugs to suit their individual needs and circumstances. Furthermore, parental involvement in drug education fosters open communication and strengthens the parent-child bond. By addressing the topic of drug use within the family unit, parents can instill moral values and provide ongoing guidance and support to their children.

In my opinion, both schools and parents have crucial roles to play in educating children about the dangers of drug use. While schools can provide structured lessons and factual information, parents offer invaluable guidance, support and moral guidance. Therefore, a collaborative approach involving schools and parents is essential to effectively address this issue. Schools should incorporate drug education into their curriculum, complemented by resources and support for parents to continue the conversation at home. By working together, schools and parents can empower children to make informed choices and lead healthy, drug-free lives.

In conclusion, the question of who should educate children about the dangers of drug use is multifaceted. While some advocate for schools to take the lead, others emphasize the role of parents. In my view, a collaborative approach that involves both schools and parents is the most effective way to equip children with the knowledge and skills to resist the temptation of drugs.

➡️ Why this essay qualifies for a Band 8 score:

  1. Task Response: The essay explores both perspectives in depth, discussing the arguments for and against each viewpoint. It provides specific examples and explanations to support the points made.
  2. Coherence and Cohesion: There is effective use of linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences and paragraphs. This enhances the coherence of the essay and facilitates the reader's understanding.
  3. Lexical Resource: The vocabulary used is varied and appropriate for the topic. There is evidence of less common vocabulary and collocations, contributing to the overall lexical resource.
  4. Grammar Range and Accuracy: The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and accurate use of verb tenses. While there may be occasional errors, they do not impede communication or understanding.

➡️ Errors and areas of improvement in the essay
  1. Complex Sentences: While the essay includes some complex sentences, more variety could be added to enhance sophistication. For example, in the following sentence, a more complex structure could be used: "By integrating drug education into the curriculum, schools can empower students with the knowledge and skills necessary to make informed decisions and resist peer pressure."
  2. Lexical Resource: While the vocabulary used is generally appropriate, incorporating more precise and varied vocabulary can further enhance the essay. For instance, instead of repeatedly using "drug education," alternative phrases such as "substance abuse prevention programs" or "anti-drug initiatives" could be employed.
  3. Introduction and Conclusion: While the essay includes an introduction and conclusion, they could be strengthened by providing a more concise summary of the main points and a clear thesis statement. This would provide a stronger framework for the essay and enhance coherence.

Overall, these are minor areas for improvement, and the essay already demonstrates a solid foundation in terms of structure, vocabulary, and grammar. With some refinement in these areas, the essay could potentially achieve a higher band score.

⚡ Band 9 Score Essay 1


Some people believe that children should be given lessons on the dangers of using drugs in schools. Others believe that this is the responsibility of parents. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In contemporary discourse, there is considerable debate regarding the responsibility for educating children about the dangers of drug use. While some advocate for schools to provide lessons on this topic, others argue that it falls within the purview of parental responsibility. This essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my opinion.

On one hand, proponents of drug education in schools argue that educational institutions are well-positioned to disseminate information and raise awareness about the risks associated with drug use. Schools provide a structured environment where children can receive accurate and comprehensive information from trained educators. Moreover, drug education in schools can reach a wide audience, including children from diverse backgrounds who may not receive adequate guidance at home. By integrating drug education into the curriculum, schools can empower students with the knowledge and skills necessary to make informed decisions and resist peer pressure.

On the other hand, there is a strong argument that educating children about drug use is primarily the responsibility of parents or guardians. Parents play a central role in shaping their children's attitudes, values, and behaviours. They have a unique insight into their children's lives and can tailor discussions about drugs to suit their individual needs and circumstances. Furthermore, parental involvement in drug education fosters open communication and strengthens the parent-child bond. By addressing the topic of drug use within the family unit, parents can instil moral values and provide ongoing guidance and support to their children.

In my opinion, both schools and parents have crucial roles to play in educating children about the dangers of drug use. While schools can provide structured lessons and factual information, parents offer invaluable guidance, support, and moral guidance. Therefore, a collaborative approach involving schools and parents is essential to effectively address this issue. Schools should incorporate drug education into their curriculum, complemented by resources and support for parents to continue the conversation at home. By working together, schools and parents can empower children to make informed choices and lead healthy, drug-free lives.
(339 words)

➡️ Why this essay qualifies for a Band 9 score:

  1. Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is well-organized, with clear paragraph structure and logical progression of ideas. Transition words and phrases are used effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs, enhancing coherence.
  2. Lexical Resource: The vocabulary used is varied and precise, demonstrating a high level of lexical resource. The essay employs sophisticated vocabulary accurately and effectively to convey meaning, enhancing the overall quality of the writing.
  3. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay demonstrates a wide range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and accurate use of verb tenses. Grammar and syntax are consistently accurate, with minimal errors that do not impede understanding.
  4. Task Response: The essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing a well-reasoned opinion. The arguments presented are relevant and directly contribute to the overall argumentation. The essay explores both perspectives in depth, discussing the arguments for and against each viewpoint. It provides specific examples and explanations to support the points made, demonstrating a deep understanding of the issue at hand.

Overall, this essay effectively addresses the task, presents a clear argument, and demonstrates a high level of language proficiency, which are indicative of a Band 9 score in IELTS assessment criteria.

⚡ Band 8,5 Score Essay 2


Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others believe that zoos play an essential role in conservation efforts. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent times, the ethicality of zoos has sparked debate, with some advocating for their closure due to perceived cruelty, while others argue for their importance in conservation efforts. This essay will explore both perspectives before presenting my opinion.

On one hand, critics argue that zoos are inherently cruel and should be shut down. They contend that confining animals in artificial environments deprives them of their natural habitats and essential freedoms. Furthermore, concerns about animal welfare, such as inadequate living conditions and limited space for movement, have been raised. Critics also highlight instances of mistreatment and exploitation of animals in zoos, which they view as unacceptable.

On the other hand, proponents of zoos emphasize their vital role in conservation efforts. They argue that zoos provide a controlled environment where endangered species can be bred and protected from extinction. Zoos also serve as educational institutions, raising awareness about wildlife conservation and fostering a sense of empathy and appreciation for animals. Additionally, zoos contribute to scientific research aimed at understanding and preserving biodiversity.

In my opinion, while there are valid concerns about animal welfare in some zoos, the benefits of zoos in conservation efforts cannot be overlooked. However, this does not justify the mistreatment or exploitation of animals. Instead, zoos should be held to high standards of animal care and welfare, with strict regulations enforced to ensure the well-being of the animals. Zoos should prioritize conservation, education and research while striving to provide humane and ethical treatment of animals.

In conclusion, the debate over zoos revolves around the balance between their potential for conservation and concerns about animal welfare. While zoos play a crucial role in preserving endangered species and educating the public, efforts should be made to address ethical concerns and improve standards of animal care. Ultimately, zoos can continue to exist, but only if they uphold strict ethical standards and prioritize the welfare of the animals under their care.
(259 words)

➡️ Why this essay qualifies for a Band 8,5 score:
  1. Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is well-organized, with clear paragraph structure and logical progression of ideas. Transition words and phrases are used effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs, enhancing coherence.
  2. Lexical Resource: The vocabulary used is varied and appropriate for the topic
  3. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay demonstrates a range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences, accurately used verb tenses, and varied sentence structures. Although there may be occasional errors, they do not impede communication or understanding.
  4. Task Response: The essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing a well-reasoned opinion. The arguments presented are relevant and directly contribute to the overall argumentation. The essay explores both perspectives in depth, discussing the arguments for and against each viewpoint. It provides specific examples and explanations to support the points made, demonstrating a thorough understanding of the issue.

⚡ Band 9 Score Essay 2


Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others believe that zoos play an essential role in conservation efforts. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In contemporary discourse, the ethical dilemma surrounding the existence of zoos has ignited heated debate. While some adamantly advocate for their closure, citing concerns over animal welfare, others staunchly defend their pivotal role in wildlife conservation. This essay will delve into both perspectives, culminating in a nuanced assessment.

On one side of the argument, critics vehemently denounce zoos as cruel institutions that flagrantly violate the rights of captive animals. They argue that confining animals to artificial enclosures deprives them of their inherent freedoms and disrupts their natural behaviors. Moreover, instances of animal mistreatment and exploitation in some zoos underscore the ethical predicament inherent in their operation.

Conversely, proponents of zoos contend that these establishments serve as invaluable sanctuaries for endangered species and bastions of conservation efforts. By providing a controlled environment, zoos facilitate breeding programs aimed at bolstering dwindling populations and preventing species extinction. Furthermore, zoos play a pivotal role in educating the public about wildlife conservation, fostering empathy, and nurturing a sense of stewardship toward the natural world.

In my view, while concerns about animal welfare in zoos are valid and demand redress, the imperative to conserve endangered species and raise awareness about biodiversity cannot be understated. However, this necessitates a paradigm shift in the operation of zoos, with an unwavering commitment to ethical standards and animal welfare. Zoos should prioritize conservation initiatives and public education while ensuring the humane treatment of animals under their care.

In conclusion, the discourse surrounding zoos underscores the intricate balance between conservation imperatives and ethical considerations. While zoos play a crucial role in wildlife conservation, efforts must be intensified to address concerns about animal welfare and ethical treatment. By embracing stringent ethical standards, zoos can fulfill their mandate as vital agents of conservation and education in society.

➡️ Why this essay qualifies for a Band 9 score:
  1. Lexical Resource: The vocabulary is precise and varied, demonstrating a high level of lexical resource. The essay employs sophisticated vocabulary accurately and effectively to convey meaning, enhancing the overall quality of the writing.
  2. Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is well-organized, with clear paragraph structure and logical progression of ideas. Transition words and phrases are used effectively to connect sentences and paragraphs, enhancing coherence.
  3. Grammatical Range and Accuracy: The essay demonstrates a wide range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences, accurately used verb tenses, and varied sentence structures. There are no major grammatical errors, and any minor errors do not impede communication or understanding.
  4. Task Response: The essay fully addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing a well-reasoned opinion. The arguments presented are relevant, insightful, and directly contribute to the overall argumentation. The essay explores both perspectives in depth, discussing the arguments for and against each viewpoint. It provides specific examples and explanations to support the points made, demonstrating a deep understanding of the issue at hand.