Direct Questions Model Essays

⚡ Band 7 Score Essay


Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

In the world, there are things we can buy paying money. But, at the same time there are things that we'll never be able to get thought we are millionaire.

We can make ourselves spending money to buy visible items, such as expensive cars, bags, houses, clothes and so on. A friend of mine, when she is stressed, likes to go shopping to get rid of the stress. Luckily she is rich so she is satisfied and happy after purchasing as many things as possible.

Also, money can be very important for some things which are not visible. For example, if any of family members is ill and requires an expensive surgery, money becomes the most important factor to proceed with the surgery, or one will just suffer without having the surgery.
We can not only make ourselves happy when we have lots of money, we can also be happy with some things that we never buy with money.

My parents were not rich when I was a child. I desired to get toys and pretty clothes but they couldn't afford to buy them. I was disappointed that I could not have those things.
But my parents brought me up with unlimited love and they became my best friend to listen to me when I was in trouble and needed advice. As a result my childhood was happy and I grew up having positive way of thinking instead of complaining for the things my parents couldn't buy for me.

In conclusion through my experience, we can make our lives convenient when having enough money. But, we do not need to be frustrated or desperate with not having lots of money. Happiness depends on our mind set and it is always subjective to change if the amount of money is considered a lot or little. By focusing on what we have on our hands now and drive to achieve what we want to gain, we can always be happy.

➡️ Errors and areas of improvement in the essay

The candidate has addressed all parts of the task and presents a well-developed response. Ideas are relevant, extended and supported throughout. The candidate's task response is the best aspect of this piece of writing. Ideas are logically organised, with some use of cohesive, devices, and there is a clear overall progression.
The range of vocabulary is adventurous [proceed with the surgery | unlimited love | positive way of thinking | frustrated desperate]

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, with a fair degree of accuracy, but a wider range would perhaps result in a higher score here.

⚡ Band 8,5 Score Essay 1


People spend a major part of their adult life at work, and job satisfaction is an important part of individual well-being. What contributes to a person feeling satisfied at work? How realistic is it for all people to feel satisfied?

Job satisfaction is crucial for overall well-being, as individuals spend a significant portion of their adult lives at work. Several factors contribute to a person feeling satisfied at work.

Firstly, having a sense of purpose and meaning in one's job can greatly enhance job satisfaction. When individuals feel that their work aligns with their values and contributes to a greater good, they are more likely to feel fulfilled and satisfied.

Secondly, a positive work environment, including supportive colleagues and effective leadership, can contribute to job satisfaction. Feeling valued and appreciated by both peers and superiors can boost morale and overall satisfaction with one's job.

Additionally, opportunities for growth and development play a significant role in job satisfaction. When individuals have the chance to learn new skills, take on new challenges, and advance in their careers, they are more likely to feel satisfied and fulfilled in their roles.

Furthermore, work life balance is essential for job satisfaction. When individuals are able to effectively manage their work responsibilities alongside their personal lives, they are less likely to experience burnout and more likely to feel satisfied with their jobs.

However, it is unrealistic to expect all people to feel satisfied at work all the time. Different individuals have different preferences, values, and priorities, and what contributes to satisfaction for one person may not necessarily do so for another. Additionally, external factors such as economic conditions, company policies, and industry trends can impact job satisfaction in ways that are beyond individual control.

In conclusion, while several factors contribute to job satisfaction, it is unrealistic to expect universal satisfaction among all individuals. Nonetheless, by fostering a sense of purpose, creating a positive work environment, providing opportunities for growth, and promoting work-life balance, organizations can help enhance job satisfaction for their employees.
(292 words)

➡️ Errors and areas of improvement in the essay
  1. In the fourth paragraph, the term "work life balance" should be hyphenated as "work-life balance."
  2. The phrase "However, it is unrealistic to expect all people to feel satisfied at work all the time" could be strengthened by providing evidence or examples to support this claim.
  3. The phrase "company policies" could be clarified. Which specific policies are being referred to?

⚡ Band 9 Score Essay 1


People spend a major part of their adult life at work, and job satisfaction is an important part of individual well-being. What contributes to a person feeling satisfied at work? How realistic is it for all people to feel satisfied?

Job satisfaction plays a pivotal role in individual well-being, given the substantial time adults dedicate to their professional lives. A myriad of factors contributes to a person's contentment at work, with the realism of universal satisfaction being contingent on diverse individual needs and external circumstances.

Primarily, deriving a sense of purpose and meaning from one's job significantly enhances job satisfaction. Individuals who perceive their work as aligned with personal values and contributing to a greater social good are more likely to experience fulfilment.

Moreover, a positive work environment, characterised by supportive colleagues and effective leadership, constitutes a vital element in job satisfaction. Feeling valued and acknowledged by peers and superiors not only boosts morale but also contributes to an overall sense of job satisfaction.

Furthermore, opportunities for continuous growth and development play a pivotal role in job satisfaction. Professionals thrive when they have the chance to acquire new skills, tackle fresh challenges and advance in their careers.

In addition, the crucial aspect of maintaining a work-life balance cannot be overstated. When individuals can successfully manage their professional responsibilities alongside their personal lives, they are less susceptible to burnout, fostering job satisfaction.
Nevertheless, the notion of universal job satisfaction remains unrealistic. Diverse individual preferences, values, and priorities, combined with external factors such as economic conditions and industry trends, contribute to variations in job satisfaction levels.

In conclusion, a confluence of factors, including a sense of purpose, a positive work environment, opportunities for growth,and a healthy work-life balance, contributes to job satisfaction. While these elements enhance overall contentment, the attainment of universal job satisfaction is tempered by the inherent diversity of individual needs and external factors.
(296 words)

⚡ Band 8 Score Essay 2


In some countries, teenagers have part-time jobs while they are still at school. What benefits does this bring a child? Are there any drawbacks?

In many countries, teenagers is often takes on part-time jobs while they still at school. This phenomenon has both advantages and disadvantages for the child's development and overall well-being.

One significant benefit of teenagers having part-time jobs while in school is that it provides them with valuable work experience and skills that can be beneficial later in life. By being employed, teenagers learn essential skills such as time management, responsibility, and teamwork, which can help them succeed in their future careers. Additionally, having a job can teach teenagers the value of money and financial independence, as they earn their own income and learn to manage their expenses.

Furthermore, having a part-time job can help teenagers develop a strong work ethic and a sense of responsibility. By balancing schoolwork with employment, teenagers learn the importance of prioritizing tasks and managing their time effectively. This can lead to increased self-confidence and a sense of accomplishment as they successfully juggle their academic and work commitments.

However, there are also drawbacks to teenagers having part-time jobs while in school. One potential drawback is that it can negatively impact their academic performance. Balancing schoolwork with a job can be challenging, and some teenagers may struggle to keep up with their studies while working part-time. This can result in increased stress and fatigue, as well as a decline in academic performance.

Additionally, having a part-time job may limit teenagers' opportunities for extracurricular activities and socializing with their peers. They may have less time for hobbies, sports, or spending time with friends, which are important aspects of their social and emotional development.

In conclusion, while having a part-time job while in school can provide teenagers with valuable work experience and skills, it can also have drawbacks such as impacting their academic performance and limiting their opportunities for socializing and extracurricular activities. Ultimately, whether or not teenagers should have part-time jobs while in school depends on individual circumstances and priorities.
(299 words)

➡️ Errors and areas of improvement in the essay
  1. Subject-verb agreement error: "teenagers is often takes" should be "teenagers often take."
  2. Inconsistent verb tense usage: "while they still at school" should be "while they are still at school" for consistency.
  3. Awkward phrasing: "teenagers is often takes on part-time jobs" could be phrased more smoothly as "teenagers often take on part-time jobs."
  4. Lack of parallel structure: "One significant benefit of teenagers having part-time jobs while in school is that it provides them with valuable work experience and skills" could be improved for parallelism by saying "One significant benefit of teenagers having part-time jobs while in school is that they provide valuable work experience and skills."
  5. Incorrect word usage: "the child's development" should be "teenagers' development" to reflect that the essay is discussing teenagers, not children.
  6. Verb tense inconsistency: "By being employed, teenagers learn essential skills" should be "By being employed, teenagers can learn essential skills" to maintain consistency in verb tense.
  7. Lack of clarity: "This can lead to increased self-confidence and a sense of accomplishment as they successfully juggle their academic and work commitments" could be clearer if rephrased to specify who "they" refers to.
  8. Spelling error: "extracurricular" is misspelled as "extracurricular" in the sentence "Additionally, having a part-time job may limit teenagers' opportunities for extracurricular activities."
  9. Lack of coherence: The essay lacks smooth transitions between ideas and does not effectively connect sentences and paragraphs.

⚡ Band 9 Score Essay 2


In some countries, teenagers have part-time jobs while they are still at school. What benefits does this bring a child? Are there any drawbacks?

In many nations, it is customary for adolescents to engage in part-time employment while still attending school. This practice yields both advantages and drawbacks for their personal growth and overall welfare.

One noteworthy advantage of teenagers holding part-time jobs during their schooling is the acquisition of valuable work experience and skills. By being employed, adolescents develop crucial competencies such as time management, accountability and collaboration, all of which are instrumental for their future careers. Additionally, employment instills a sense of financial responsibility, as teenagers earn their own income and learn to budget and manage expenses.

Moreover, part-time employment fosters the cultivation of a robust work ethic and a keen sense of responsibility among teenagers. Balancing academic obligations with work commitments teaches them to prioritize tasks effectively and manage their time efficiently. Consequently, this experience enhances their self-confidence and fosters a sense of achievement as they successfully navigate their academic and occupational responsibilities.

However, there are also drawbacks to teenagers working part-time while in school. One potential drawback is the potential negative impact on academic performance. Juggling schoolwork with a job can be challenging, leading some teenagers to struggle academically and experience heightened stress levels.

Additionally, part-time employment may restrict teenagers' involvement in extracurricular activities and social interactions with peers. They may have less time for hobbies, sports, or socializing, which are essential components of their social and emotional development.
In conclusion, while part-time employment during schooling offers teenagers valuable work experience and skills, it may also pose challenges such as impacting academic performance and limiting extracurricular engagement. Ultimately, the decision to pursue part-time employment while in school depends on individual circumstances and priorities.
(269 words)